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Reasons Why I Cannot Be Yours by =hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Teen or Young Romance > Open


I.
the touch of a poet is what I hope for
a man with a feather for a heart

II.
all your words
are prose and pantyhose--
nothing to me

III.
and maybe you're cruel
and unusual but that's what I need--

IV.
someone to realize that I'm floating through
and anchor me down

V.
and so I beg of you, who will never be a poet,
may I be yours?
©2008 =hauntingmewithsmiles
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Submitted: May 16
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Author's Comments


how I wish you could see the potential
the potential of you and me


and when I sleep, you're all I dream of


edits, mostly the thoughts of the lovely ~chugglepuff
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~InfinityOnTheRun:iconInfinityOnTheRun: May 16, 2008, 2:26:44 PM
Wahhh So beautiful :D

--
I indulge in generic, cliche, teen poetry.
And damn proud. ;D

.:It's a one way road:.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: May 16, 2008, 2:31:50 PM
ttthanks
:]
it's kind of a bit of a more clearly defined concept than my other writing.
do you think so ?

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company♪
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~InfinityOnTheRun:iconInfinityOnTheRun: May 16, 2008, 2:36:25 PM
Haha, sure :]
It's very clear you're talking about an elephant...Jk, I know what it's about. xD

--
I indulge in generic, cliche, teen poetry.
And damn proud. ;D

.:It's a one way road:.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: May 16, 2008, 3:26:59 PM
Hooray:D

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company♪
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~chugglepuff:iconchugglepuff: May 17, 2008, 6:24:00 AM
That made me all shivery... I absolutely adore it. You get so much across with these few words. The only word I would consider changing is "need" in the first line, perhaps to "want", to contrast with the need in III. Just a thought. I really do love this, it's stunning.

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: May 17, 2008, 3:47:32 PM
Ya know, that makes a LOT of sense...I believe I will.


Thank you so much:heart:

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company♪
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~chugglepuff:iconchugglepuff: May 17, 2008, 3:52:49 PM
My pleasure! :)
And I just noticed, I think there ought to be a comma after "poet" in V. Not that it's important, I'm just picky for the sake of it. ^^;

--
A stitch in time mucks up the space-time continuum.

Clicking this link will give you superpowers*.

*May just be a very sneaky way to make you look at my page. But probably not.
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: May 17, 2008, 3:59:16 PM
Don't worry, my comma fetish is much worse than yours.

I'm kinda surprised that I don't have one there, actually...

will edit later.

Am lazy/hot now.

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company♪
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
~Corrupted-Pizza:iconCorrupted-Pizza: May 17, 2008, 6:30:49 PM

Lovely poem. :)

I like the smoothness between each stanza.

--

oh, no, sorry.
do take that offensively.
toomuchenergyyy. : D!

hauntingmewithsmiles is MYYYY twin.
not yours. d:
=hauntingmewithsmiles:iconhauntingmewithsmiles: May 17, 2008, 6:41:06 PM
I was kind of going for...erh, well. It's hard to explain. I wanted to have kind of a narrative there...and a transition, which is obvious, but I wanted to break it up into steps of realization.


Does that make sense/did I do it welll?

--
:frail:
\"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.\"
--Company♪
Icon:~skittleflink:boing:
Stock account:~hauntingmewithstock
I might be the twin of ~Corrupted-Pizza!
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