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the bite of your anger is just waiting for
the moon to handle the day I end
which happens to mark frightening insecurities  that I may be
stuck here with all the tragic broken necks and swollen
fingers.
but maybe this time it's time to float on through the ceiling and into the chariot of fool's gold and time to fall into
the air and snap back to reality

What if this year the world collapses upon itself from the nibbling of termites and we fall into that smooth
and lovely slide towards the end of the earth?

hypochondriacs would predict that dream if they were ever worried about anything other
than that growth in my heart and the heart of them, too
I'm not .so. harmful
it mutters into your somewhat conscious ear as it gnaws
away at the organ

did you notice, you with your rock candy eyes and marshmallow skin, or were you
too coughsweet to see the abomination outside?
or were you used to it?



convince yourself right into no pain and we'll soon glide together into the golden chariot and past the ceiling straight into the floor.


I've got faith in you.
:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:

Author's Comments

you tell me.

love it or hate it.

I think I hate it, but I'm really not sure.

I'mma sleep and see in the morning if the reaction is good or notsomuch.
Probably scrapped.
critique, though?

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconpoketato:
This one time, my friend Kirsten dragged me by my hair along the floor across a classroom. This kinda feels like that.


Incidentally, that's a good thing. =)

--
Peanut butter isn't an addiction. It's a way of life.

My face is stuck!
:iconclippers0507:
...this year the word collapses upon itself...

"world"?

This is good. There's a few little tiny little bits of different little non-poetry traditional things in this piece, which is fine (the "cough" stands out). I think I like a lot. The long lines are your forte, and they work here again. I like!

--
My boy, if silence is golden, you are bankrupt. -
Charlie Chan
:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:
That bad, huh?

--

"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should."
--Company
PHOTOS. STOCK.

:boing:
:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:
Damn. World, world, world! It was late. Rawr.
Hah, the cough might be the best part there.
Really? Thank you!

--

"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should."
--Company
PHOTOS. STOCK.

:boing:
:iconpoketato:
That might have been a bad description. Like I said, that was a good thing. It wasn't painful to be dragged, it was a weird feeling, like I wasn't in control, and I guess all this talk of floating and gliding and crashing into the floor sort of brought that to mind. Like a dream where you're falling, and you're powerless to stop it.

In any case, it's a good thing. Because I like this.

--
Peanut butter isn't an addiction. It's a way of life.

My face is stuck!
:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:
Ah, I see. That's kind of how I was when writing this, haha.
thank you! I'm glad you like it. I'm still really not sure about it. :heart:

--

"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should."
--Company
PHOTOS. STOCK.

:boing:
:iconinfinityontherun:
This is like a prose-poem thing. I like it. And it reminds me of my friend's (fictionpress.com/~amarone) style just a tad bit.

--

and her laugh always sounds like the clatter of shaken dice,
of the rotation of roulettes and a life on the line.
:iconhauntingmewithsmiles:
Proem?
Thank you..gonna check that out.
And thanks for the fave :D

--

"You impersonate a person better than a zombie should."
--Company
PHOTOS. STOCK.

:boing:
:iconyouinventedme:
great imagery
and I like the way it flows


xo!

--
one half of ~ZombiesAteUs

Details

August 19, 2008
1.3 KB
2.3 MB
3264×2448

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